Hi everyone, its Tannaz Hosseinpour and welcome to another solo episode of Minutes on Growth.
When my mind is in overdrive, I sometimes like to watch reality tv. As I was watching one particular Real housewives episode, I noticed that I had spent a good 30 minutes watching grown women gossip about one another continuously, which got me thinking about the overall action of gossiping. Why do we gossip? It never really solves anything. I mean most of the drama on the show is because they are gossiping, so nothing really good comes out of it. So why do we feel the need to engage in it?
You see, when we gossip, we’re operating out of a scarcity mindset – we’re talking from a place of judgment, comparison and doubt. These are all low vibrational, low frequency emotions, so in other words we are creating a negative energetic field around ourself, and then once we’re done gossiping, we continue walking through the day with that cloud of negativity following us. So not only have we hurt another person but ultimately we have hurt our own state of wellbeing as well, hence why it’s so poisonous.
A few years ago, one of my mentors told me something that blew my mind. She said its impossible for you to recognize a trait within someone else if it’s not present within you at some level. If you think someone is jealous of you, then perhaps that trait it within you otherwise you wouldn’t have noticed it. It might be at different levels but the seed is there.
Since learning this, I’ve become really conscious of gossiping. Whenever I find myself gossiping about someone, I try to bring my awareness back to my statement. I ask myself, what part of myself needs healing and awareness? What trait of the other person is triggering my wounds?
Do I still sometimes gossip? As much as I’d like to say no, the answer is yes. Even though I try my best to not engage in this toxic behaviour, I’m only human, and I too fail. I have however noticed that when I do tend to fail and gossip, I’m usually doing it with the same people. So community plays a major role in this as well. Who are you surrounding yourself with? What activities are you engaging with when you’re with them? How do you feel when you’re with them? How do you feel when you’ve left them? This is why we need to be really intentional with our community and how we spend our time. I talk a lot about this in my Discover Your Purpose Online course so if you’d like to learn more about how you can create an empowering community for yourself then check it out.
Another great way to restrict yourself from gossiping is to practice the socrates test – whenever you find yourself wanting to gossip, ask yourself, is what I am about to share with others true? is it positive and good? and lastly is it useful? Not everything we say must be useful, but it needs to be true or good so If it’s not good or true, refrain from engaging. Everything becomes a habit when we repeat it over and over again, so we can program our mind to automatically pass statements through this test.
So today if you catch yourself judging someone else, take a moment and pause. Ask yourself, where are these thoughts coming from? What part of my soul needs my attention? How can I shift from this scarcity mindset to an abundant one? and lastly is it true, good or useful?
Remember, what you focus on expands,
Sending you lots of love, speak soon.