It’s been a while since I’ve recorded a short solo cast — mainly because I’ve been occupied observing a very interesting space that I have found myself in.
Many speak of breakdowns, and as a result of breakthroughs, but few speak of the icky space in between these two.
The space in between – This is the space of uncertainty, or as I like to think of it, the space where anything and everything is possible, but as exciting that might sound, it is a space filled with confusion, with many never ending questions around identity and purpose.
Where am I going? Who am I becoming? What am I doing?
10 months ago, I experienced a traumatic life quake that changed the trajectory of my life. Since then I have dived in and out of the different states of grief — grieving the loss of life as I knew it— and I think my soul is now ready to slowly make it to the finish line, but like all finish lines, the last steps are the hardest. In fact I strongly believe that right before the finish line , is the last final breakdown of the current chapter of your life.
This finish line feels like a caterpillar’s final moments before it turns into a butterfly. It is a period of extreme internal struggle. This final breakdown is what makes the biggest difference. Here we have a choice. We can either allow it to inspire us to evolve to the next level, or allow it to break us for good. For evolvement to take place, it is imperative that we do not interfere with the struggle and not become numb.
What does that look like?
Well our role then becomes to simply enter into a state of stillness – to become quiet and witness.. witness the pain of shedding parts of yourself that no longer serve you, witness the pain of letting go of the old parts of you that are now redundant, witness the pain of cutting the chord of your old dreams & goals, that once served you for sure, but not anymore.
It’s as if you’re at your own life’s bonfire… everything you are throwing in needs to burn, and there’s nothing you can do to change the fact that they’re no longer serving you.. so you might as well watch the fire become bigger… with a lot of tears involved.
This is not a period of playing the victim. This is not a period of seeking answers. This is not a period of suppressing emotions.
This is a period of rawness.
This is a period of going against our nature of instant gratification and sitting in the discomfort of not knowing why you’re there but at the time time having certainty, certainty that after this, oh the places you will go & the miracles and the blessings that will come through you during the breakthrough…Thinking about it gives me goosebumps, and that is the beauty of spiritual certainty. certainty that we are always divinely guided even when our logical mind can’t comprehend it… certainty that the universe will always reroute us to our highest good, if only we allow it. if only we do not interfere in the final breakdown.
So if we find ourselves here in this space of in between, how can we make the best out of it? I’ve realized that the biggest and most important step in this space is acceptance. Accepting that you’re hurt, or that you’re in pain. so when people ask you how you’re doing? instead of abandoning yourself and saying I’m good, just honestly responding I’m not good but thats okay. It’s accepting that you have no control, no control over how long this period is going to last, no control over the outcome.. It’s accepting the discomfort. It’s accepting that you’re going through an unknown journey – one that will require you to burn to ashes the current version of yourself.
& you know what? this part truly sucks.
Why? because we’d rather stay in our comfort zone, have things as they are, hold on to the familiar. We’d rather have the answers. We’d rather know where we’re going. After all, this is what our mind is busy doing everyday – keeping us quote on quote safe by maintaining the status quo.
But if we can just tap into the sea of courage that lies within us, and just allow ourselves to feel the feelings without judgment, without all the “shoulds and musts” we have created for ourselves… then with that compassionate awareness a new version of ourselves is created that will light up the world.
This is how the universe puts us back on track.
So if you’re in that space, please know that you’re not alone.
I see you, I honour you and I promise you, that the breakthrough is coming and it’s much bigger than you could’ve ever dreamed of.
Your bravery will be rewarded, just sit still.
Lots of love,