Please click here to listen to Episode 87 of the Minutes on Growth Podcast
It’s Tannaz hosseinpour and welcome to another short solo episode of minutes on growth. I want to briefly talk today about processing judgment that we receive from others, whether directly or indirectly through gossip.
When judgment arises from others, the soul and the ego tend to want to react differently.
The ego tends to get defensive and wants to speak up.
In these moments, the ego wants to seek revenge, to cause harm back– the critic will fill your mind up with “but how dare she!” and that’s why its really important in these moments to recognize that hurt people hurt people, and we’re not here on this planet to police people on how they should behave. That’s their movie – whatever they sow they will reap. Whatever we sow we will reap, so our reaction will have impact on our life. (On a side note, from a spiritual perspective, when people gossip about us, what they’re doing is removing our negative energy. So from that perspective, what a blessing that someone through their actions is removing our darkness)
However, coming back to the moment of trigger, the soul knows that it it cannot control other people’s actions towards us – however people act is a reflection of their inner state – those who shame others, tend to carry a lot of shame – those who judge others, tend to be extremely self-judgmental and those who spread false narratives do so from a place of lack.
So the soul understands these concepts and through that recognizes that it’s not personal – that said, the only thing the soul can do is distance itself from those who choose to cause harm and instead focus on its core loving truth
You see, we have have full control over who we allow into our circle , and we need to consciously practice this ability by being intentional with who gets access to our energy field.
This is the gift we give to ourselves.
I know, it’s much easier to practice spiritual concepts when everything is going well. But it’s in the moments that we’re triggered, attacked , hurt that we must do whatever it takes to go against our ego’s nature of reacting and instead pause.
To allow ourselves some space to take deep breaths and to restrict our ego from engaging in other people’s harmful movie loops.
The pause allows the soul to come forward and take the lead.
This is how we invite light into our life
By not engaging in other people’s darkness and by not taking their darkness towards us as personal. happy people don’t go around sprinkling pain and misery onto others. Understanding that allows us to let go without resentment and without judgment. This part is really important, because the ego can show up with another mask and say “Im letting go because I’m better” thats another form of judgment. What we want to do it let go from a place of deep understanding. It definitely doesn’t excuse their behavior and it doesn’t make it okay, but what it does do is it places ourselves first – its us prioritizing our own mental health – this is self love.
So here are some practical ways that you can activate your parasympathetic nervous system when you’re triggered so you can navigate away from the fight or flight response to rest or digest:
- walk in nature
- take slow deep breaths — its called balanced breathing, so you inhale for 4 seconds, and then you exhale slowly through the nose again for 4 seconds. you repeat this for 10 times at-least.
- drinking a glass of cold water or splashing cold water onto your face or putting an ice cube on your neck or wrist
- speaking to friends who don’t add fuel to the fire and who hold space for you to breathe through it
- writing out all your emotions on paper and then burning it. by the way, let it all out, do not hold back when you’re transferring your emotions from your body onto the piece of paper
- lastly, scream it out into a pillow or in your car.. cry it out …
It’s important for us to process these emotions so they don’t get stuck in our system.
Again this doesn’t mean that we don’t set boundaries or choose to distance ourselves, but rather in that moment of trigger, not allowing the ego to engage in a narrative that causes more harm to ourselves. Practicing spiritual concepts of pause or of letting go, does not make you naive or weak. It takes tremendous courage and bravery to be heart centered in a world that feeds off of pain and fear.
You are not what other people think of you.
You are an extension of light
You are made of love
Sending you lots of Love