Click here to listen to Episode127 of the Minutes on Growth Podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify or Amazon Music.
Hi soul friends, it’s Tannaz Hosseinpour, and welcome back to another short solo episode of the Minutes on Growthpodcast.
As some of you know, this past month was filled with excitement as I planned for my engagement weekend which was so much fun, but once it finished, I had a realization that I feel is so important to share with you all today. It’s a topic that’s gaining some attention on social media, but I still believe it’s not getting the recognition it truly deserves. This topic is at the very core of how we show up in our lives—how we handle stress, how we interact with others, and how we navigate through our challenges. And that topic is nervous system regulation.
So leading up to my engagement weekend, so many people asked me if I was stressed out, or if Ash and I were fighting over the planning, and my answer was honestly no. I wasn’t feeling stressed, primarily because I genuinely love hosting and organizing events. Yes, this one was significantly larger than anything I’d ever planned before, but I approached it with the same principles of organization and discipline that I always use. So I thought I had everything under control… until
about a week before the actual engagement, I started to notice something shifting. Before I talk about the shift, I think it’s important to let you know when I was planning out the dates, I had from the beginning decided to take a week off work prior to the engagement so that week that I noticed the shift in my body, I was off of work. During that week, my processing was that its perhaps nerves, excitement, or a mix of both. I could feel the quality of my sleep declining, my patience wearing thin, and this underlying sense of being on edge that I couldn’t quite shake. There were even moments where I’d be so overwhelmed that I just froze – I would be starting at me white board filled with informations and tasks, but unable to move or process what I needed to do next. As someone who prides herself on staying composed and organized, it was so confusing since time wise, I did have time, I mean my schedule was cleared out so I couldn’t understand why I was feeling overwhelmed.
Once all the festivities were over, and our loved ones had returned home, I took a moment to sit with myself and reflect on what had happened. Why….Why was my body reacting this way, despite my best efforts to stay on top of everything? That’s when it hit me: even though I had all my organizational tools and structures in place, my nervous system wasn’t regulated.My body didn’t feel safe or grounded in those moments, which made it difficult to process everything with clarity and peace. No matter how much we prepare mentally, if our nervous system isn’t on our side, it can be nearly impossible to stay balanced and present. Mind-body connection is real!
But you might be wondering why my nervous system was disregulated..well… it’s all because I had cleared my calendar…it sounds odd, but when I am working full-time, I am very intentional with making time for nervous system regulation tools in between my sessions with my clients because it’s super important that I take a grounded energy with me into sessions. So I usually go on walks in the middle of the day, I do balance breathing before an after every session, I do some shaking and movement at the end of my working day. So I’m constantly regulating my nervous system throughout the day. But because I had cleared my schedule for that week, I have completely blanked out and forgot about all these small simple yet profound daily regulation tools so all the stressors pertaining to planning the weekend were there but there was no outlet or medium of regulation present. So prior to that week off, yes I was getting stressed out I was getting triggered but I was balancing it out with these tools. No remove the tools, all you have left is stressors.
I realized that I was so caught up in my to-do list that I completely neglected my own needs. I wasn’t giving myself the time and space to breathe, to ground, to regulate. I really wasn’t doing the things that usually help me stay centered, like going for walks or dancing. It’s no wonder that my mind and body were all over the place.
Do use the analogy of a cup, and whenever there is a stressor come off the cupcakes for, and whenever we engage in regulation tools, the cup is empty. If we’re not emptying out the stressors, it will lead to overflow.
This experience brought me back to the importance of nervous system regulation, and I want to take a moment to explain what that actually means from a scientific perspective. So at the heart of our ability to regulate lies the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which is like the control center for how our body responds to stress and relaxation. The ANS has two main branches: the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system.
The sympathetic nervous system is what we often refer to as the “fight or flight” response. It’s what kicks in when we sense danger or when we’re under stress, getting our body ready to take action. On the other hand, the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for the “rest and digest” response, where our body slows down, calms, and restores itself. Both systems are essential, and they each have their place. There are times when we need to be alert and active, but there are also times when we need to allow ourselves to relax and recover.
The key is knowing when to activate each state and, more importantly, how to bring ourselves back to that state of calm when we need it most. It’s about finding that equilibrium where we can shift out of fight-or-flight mode when the threat has passed and allow ourselves to rest without getting stuck in inaction. This balance helps us approach our relationships, our work, and our daily challenges with a sense of clarity.
The truth is, we can’t always control what happens around us, the unexpected stressors, the challenges, the curveballs life throws our way. But what we can control is how we respond to those situations. When our nervous system is regulated, we’re able to respond rather than react. We can pause, take a breath, and choose how to engage with whatever comes our way. This ability to stay grounded, even when things get chaotic on the outside, is what allows us to navigate life’s ups and downs with resilience and grace.
Let’s talk about what happens when we’re in the wrong state. When we’re stuck in a heightened sympathetic state, or ‘fight or flight’ mode, which I was that week, it’s like our body is constantly on alert, ready to face a threat. This state is essential in genuinely dangerous situations—it gives us the energy to act quickly. But if we stay in this state for too long or trigger it unnecessarily, it can take a toll on our mental and physical health. We might find ourselves feeling constantly anxious, irritable, and unable to relax. Our thoughts can become scattered, our decision-making abilities get clouded, and we tend to react impulsively rather than respond thoughtfully. This is when communication breaks down because we’re so on edge that even a small misunderstanding can escalate into a bigger conflict.
I see this often in my work with couples. They come to me feeling stressed out, saying they want to learn better communication skills or techniques to navigate their conflicts more effectively. But what they really want—what they truly need—is to feel calmer and more regulated in their nervous systems. Because when we’re in a dysregulated state, it’s almost impossible to communicate calmly and openly. We become defensive, on edge, and reactive, which only deepens misunderstandings and creates distance between us and the people we care about.
On the other hand, if we get stuck in a parasympathetic state, or ‘rest and digest’ mode, when we actually need to be alert and active, we can end up feeling unmotivated, lethargic, and unable to take action. This can make us feel like we’re in a fog, lacking the energy and drive to accomplish our goals, which ultimately leads to frustration and self-doubt.
When we prioritize nervous system regulation, we give ourselves the ability to empty the cup when it gets full, and engage with life from a place of presence. It’s about finding that equilibrium where we can shift out of fight-or-flight mode when the threat has passed and allow ourselves to rest without getting stuck in inaction. This balance helps us approach our relationships, our work, and our daily challenges with a sense of clarity.
This whole experience inspired me to create a free resource for you: an ebook with 11 simple yet profound nervous system regulation tools that you can incorporate into your daily routine. I created this ebook not just for all of you, but as a reminder to myself to make time for these small yet powerful practices that keep us centered and grounded. So, soul-friends, I hope it serves you and empowers you to step into a state of regulation.
By the way I feel like I need to share this because it relates so much to the topic and it was the universe’s way of saying practice what you preach it but I first recorded this episode right after I had finished my sessions of the day yesterday and after I finished recording I realized, wait a second my voice sounds a little bit angsty, I was speaking too fast, and my hands are fidgety. So I told myself get up go for a walk, ground yourself and come back and re-record this and I’m so glad I did because I brought a whole different energy to this episode.
So thank you so much for tuning in today.
I hope this episode serves as a gentle nudge to listen to your body and to give it the attention it deserves.
Until next time, take care, stay grounded, and I’ll speak to you soon
Minutes on Growth 