Click here to listen to Episode 129 of the Minutes on Growth Podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify
Welcome back, soul friends. I’m Tannaz Hosseinpour, your host of the Minutes on Growth podcast, and I’d like to begin by offering a delayed happy new year message. I unfortunately lost my voice and was unable to record sooner but I am so excited to have it back and to be able to present the first short solo episode of 2025!
As we step into this new year, I want to dive into a topic that came up frequently during the holidays—finances in a relationship and how to navigate them. This is such an important conversation because it touches every part of our lives, whether you’re in a relationship, dating, or considering long-term commitments.
Today, we’ll explore this topic from both a macro and micro perspective, diving into cultural, legal, economic, and personal beliefs and boundaries.
At a macro level, let’s acknowledge how much financial dynamics in relationships have shifted over time. Two generations ago—or even just one—it was much more common for households to thrive on a single income. of course there’s many reasons for this. one is cultural, the other is there were less women in the workforce, and less women getting a post secondary education. I know for me, it was heavily influenced by culture, Coming from a Middle Eastern background, I grew up in a family where my grandfather was the sole provider while my grandmother was a stay-at-home mom even though she had many skills that she could generate income from. The same applied to my parents: my father was the breadwinner, and my mom took care of the household and children, despite being educated.
However, when we moved to Canada, I began noticing a shift. Dual-income households were much more common, and being in that environment, and noticing the cultural differences, my mom developed a desire for financial independence. She eventually started her own business and became financially independent.
In a previous podcast episode, I interviewed Monica Parikh, a NY based dating coach, who shared that one of the most important elements in dating is for women to have financial independence. She explained that financial independence allows women to want to be in a relationship rather than need to be in one because of financial constraints. This independence gives women the freedom to navigate relationships better and leave unhealthy dynamics if necessary. I definitely witnessed this in the Middle East. I conversed with many who expressed their desire to leave their unfulfilling marriage, but weren’t able to because of finances so I understood her stance on it.
This highlights how cultural values, economic realities, and even legal frameworks intersect. For example, in Canada, the laws around common-law relationships can significantly impact finances. In British Columbia, after two years of living together, common-law couples automatically take on the same financial obligations as married couples, including property, debt, and retirement savings. In contrast, in Middle Eastern countries, this concept doesn’t exist. The laws where you live will dictate certain financial responsibilities, so it’s important to factor these into your conversations.
Social media has added another layer to this conversation. The displays of wealth we see—luxury vacations, extravagant gifts, and influencers promoting an idealized version of relationships—can create unrealistic expectations. I’ve had men share with me during private sessions that they feel immense pressure to provide based on what they see on social media. This pressure often leads to feelings of inadequacy, but many don’t discuss it with their partners because of the shame and taboo surrounding finances.
It’s also crucial to remember that everyone’s expectations are different. Some men want a partner who contributes financially, while others prefer a stay-at-home partner. If a partner is staying at home, how are non-monetary contributions valued, seen and appreciated? Similarly, some women prioritize financial independence, while others prefer a more traditional setup. The key is finding alignment with your partner and crafting a system that works for both of you.
On a more personal level, our money beliefs are deeply influenced by our upbringing and life experiences. For instance, even though my brother and I grew up in the same household, we have very different money beliefs. The version of our parents we experienced was not the same. I had a different relationship with money growing up than my brother did because the circumstances surrounding money evolved over time.
Our individual money stories can show up in relationships in unexpected ways. For example, think about how money was discussed in your family of origin. Was it even discussed? Did you grow up hearing things like, “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” or was money readily available? How did your parents approach spending—on themselves, on you, or on others? These patterns shape our money mindset and influence how we view and manage finances in adulthood.
Another way to better understand your money beliefs is to notice what triggers you. For instance, if you go on social media and feel triggered by posts of men gifting women extravagant gifts, ask yourself: What is the root cause of this trigger? Is it because you believe that financial displays equal love? Is it because you feel your partner should provide more, or is it because you want to be able to afford similar luxuries for yourself? Taking the time to reflect on these triggers can provide valuable insight into your money mindset.
As we start to examine our beliefs, it’s important to ask: Are these truly my beliefs, or are they beliefs I’ve been conditioned to have? For instance, someone might believe that financial stability means owning a home, while their partner might define it as having six months’ worth of savings. These differences need to be explored and discussed openly.
Another key aspect of this conversation is setting financial boundaries. Boundaries around finances can look different for every couple. For instance, one partner might prioritize saving, while the other values spending on experiences or material items. Without clear communication, these differences can lead to misunderstandings or resentment.
I worked with one couple who contributed equally to household expenses and also divided household chores equally, but the husband also covered the cost of his wife’s self-care. This made her feel taken care of, and it worked beautifully for their dynamic. This is a perfect example of how financial systems can be tailored to fit the unique needs of each relationship.
I’ve also worked with couples where one partner is the primary breadwinner however due to unforeseen circumstances, they had to temporarily change the dynamics and both financially contribute to be able to navigate the challenges. The ability to have honest conversations respectfully, and work as a team is key when discussing finances.
Couples often ask me, “What is the right way to handle finances in a relationship?” The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. The “right way” is the way that feels fair and aligned for both partners. For some, that might mean splitting expenses equally. For others, it could mean one partner contributes more financially while the other takes on a different role in the household. The key is finding a balance that honors your individual values and relational goals.
To help you navigate these conversations, I’ve created a super useful resource: an 18 page guide filled with prompting questions specifically designed to help you and your partner explore your financial beliefs, boundaries, and expectations. each question is meticulously crafted based on research or on my own experience with my clients and even in my own relationship.
This activity is especially powerful at the start of the year as we’re setting and committing to our New Years resolutions. With clarity comes a reduction in misunderstandings, a stronger sense of alignment, and an opportunity for growth—both individually and as a couple.
Navigating finances in a relationship is a complex but deeply rewarding process. It requires open communication, a willingness to compromise, and the courage to explore your own beliefs. Finances are not just about numbers—they’re about values, trust, and the life you want to build together, the shared dreams you’re both working towards.
Thank you for joining me for this first episode of 2025. If you’re ready to dive deeper, download the resource linked in the show notes. Wishing you a year filled with clarity, growth, and meaningful connections. Until next time, take care and keep growing!
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