Click here to listen to Episode 130 of the Minutes on Growth Podcast on Apple Podcast, on Spotify and on Youtube.
Hi Soul Friends, it’s Tannaz Hosseinpour, and welcome back to another short solo episode of the Minutes On Growth Podcast. Today, I want to talk about prioritizing your relationship versus your career. This conversation was inspired by a chat I recently had with my uncle, where we talked about how work culture in North America differs so much from other parts of the world, particularly the Middle East, where I spent a lot of my childhood summers.
In North America, there’s this constant hustle—a 9-to-5 grind, often extending far beyond that, with busyness almost worn as a badge of honor. In contrast, cultures like the Middle East incorporate rest and connection into daily life. For example, in Iran, it’s common to take an extended break after lunch—almost like the Spanish siesta. Growing up, when I’d visit my grandparents in the summers, I’d notice how my grandfather would close his shop and come home to have lunch with my grandmother. This wasn’t just a quick bite; it was a daily ritual. They would sit together, eat, and talk about their day. It might have only lasted 30 minutes, but it created a sense of connection that grounded their relationship.
Looking back, I realize how those small, intentional moments made a big difference. My uncle shared something that really stuck with me: he’s heard from friends that many couples he knows are separating, not because they don’t love each other, but because they feel disconnected. This disconnection often stems from one or both partners focusing so heavily on their careers that the relationship gets pushed to the side.
Now, I’m not here to say that your career isn’t important. It absolutely is. But what I want to explore today is the idea that prioritizing your career doesn’t mean your relationship has to take a backseat. In fact, when we give our relationships the attention and care they require, they can actually fuel our success in other areas of life, including our careers.
Research has shown that the quality of our relationships directly impacts the quality of our health and life. When we feel supported, connected, and loved, it has a ripple effect on everything else. Personally, I notice such a difference when Ash and I are connected. After spending quality time together, I feel more grounded, creative, and focused. And when I say quality time, I don’t mean spending endless hours together. It’s not about the quantity—it’s about the quality. Even 30 minutes of intentional connection can make a huge difference.
For my grandparents, it was their daily lunch ritual. They didn’t have cell phones or distractions during that time. They simply talked, shared their thoughts, and reconnected. And while they may not have realized it then, those moments strengthened their bond and provided the emotional grounding they needed to face life’s challenges together.
This idea of rituals of connection is something the Gottman Institute emphasizes in their research. Small, consistent habits—like having coffee together in the morning, checking in at the end of the day, or even just sharing a meal—create a sense of stability and closeness in a relationship. These rituals don’t have to be grand; they just have to be intentional.
I know there’s a common belief out there that says, “I’ll focus on a relationship when I’ve established my career,” or “I don’t have time for both.” But the truth is, you don’t have to choose one over the other. A healthy, supportive relationship can actually enhance your career. It gives you a sense of stability and clarity that allows you to show up as your best self.
On the flip side, I understand how an unhealthy relationship can be draining. If there’s constant conflict or unmet needs, it can take up so much mental energy that it becomes hard to focus on anything else. But that’s why it’s so important to invest time and effort into cultivating a healthy relationship. When both partners are committed to supporting each other, it creates a foundation that benefits every aspect of life.
Now, let’s talk about what prioritizing a relationship can look like in practical terms.
First, it’s important to recognize that everyone’s dynamic is different. Some people thrive in traditional setups, where one partner works while the other manages the household. Others prefer a more balanced approach, where both partners contribute financially and share responsibilities. The key is to have open conversations about what works for you and your partner.
Next off, One of the most powerful ways to do this is by setting up rituals of connection. These don’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. It could be as simple as:
- Having a phone-free dinner together.
- Taking a 10-minute walk in the evening.
- Sending each other a thoughtful text during the day.
The idea is to create moments where you’re fully present with each other, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
Another important aspect is understanding your own money mindset and how it impacts your relationship. In my uncle’s story, we also talked about how financial stress often adds to relationship strain. If one partner feels pressured to work longer hours to provide, or if societal expectations create unrealistic comparisons—like what we see on social media—it can lead to feelings of inadequacy or resentment. That’s why it’s so important to communicate openly about finances and create shared goals that align with your values. And if you want help in navigating these conversations, check out my couples and money workbook, where I provide prompts and guidance on navigating financial expectations, beliefs, patterns, shared dreams, and so much more.
Finally, I want to emphasize that success isn’t just about achieving career milestones. It’s about living a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling—and relationships play a huge role in that. At the end of the day, what’s the point of career success if you don’t have someone to share it with?
So, if you’re feeling like your relationship has been taking a backseat to your career, I encourage you to take a step back and reflect. What small, intentional actions can you take to reconnect with your partner? It doesn’t have to be complicated—sometimes, the simplest things have the biggest impact.
Thank you for joining me for this episode. Speak soon
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