Click here to listen to Episode 132 of the Minutes on Growth Podcast on Apple Podcast, on Spotify
Hi Soul Friends,
It’s Tannaz Hosseinpour, and welcome to another short solo episode of The Minutes on Growth podcast. Before we begin, I wanted to begin by saying happy valentines day! may you all know that you are worthy of love, and feel the energetic frequency of love with yourself, with your friends, with your family, co-workers, strangers and with your romantic partner if you’re in a relationship. today as I woke up next to Ash, I couldn’t help but reflect on how I ended up here… the journey of getting to a place where I’m comfortable showing up as my true quirky self and experiencing life with an emotionally safe partner. Healthy relationships weren’t modelled to me growing up so to be able to change that narrative for myself is one I’m deeply grateful for. So I decided to dedicate today’s episode to the journey of getting here. Today, I want to share something deeply personal—an experience that shaped the way I showed up in relationships for years, without me even realizing it. And I want to talk about a question that changed my life and ultimately helped me get to where I am today:
“Am I the problem?”
For the longest time, I kept finding myself in the same patterns—friendships where I felt like I was giving more than I was receiving, relationships that left me emotionally drained, and situations that made me question my worth. And for years, I thought, Maybe I just have bad luck. Maybe I keep attracting the wrong people. Maybe I just need to try harder.
But then, I had a realization that hit me hard. The only constant in all these experiences was me.
And while that could have felt like a devastating truth, it actually became an opportunity—an invitation to go within and see what needed to change.
The Middle School Moment That Changed Everything
I want to take you back to seventh grade.
At the time, I had a best friend who felt like my other half. We did everything together—passing notes in class, sleepovers, whispering secrets over the phone, planning our futures like we were going to be inseparable forever. You know that kind of friendship where you feel like nothing could break it? That was us.
Until one day, she handed me a letter.
A letter telling me that she couldn’t be my friend anymore.
I remember my hands shaking as I unfolded it, my stomach dropping as I read the words. And the reason?
Because my dad didn’t allow me to wear short skirts to the mall. Because I had a stricter curfew than she did.
That moment shattered something inside me. I didn’t just feel abandoned—I felt like I wasn’t enough. That somehow, because I had different family values, different boundaries, I was less worthy of love and connection.
And here’s the thing—I didn’t realize it at the time, but that single moment planted a belief deep in my subconscious. A belief that said:
“If I want to keep people close, I need to make sure I don’t make them uncomfortable.”
“I need to fit in, adjust, and make myself more accommodating so I don’t lose them.”
And from that moment on, without even realizing it, I started over-giving.
I became the friend who would drop everything for people, the one who always said yes, the one who was always there—sometimes at the expense of myself. I thought that love and friendship had to be earned.
Then, a few years later, something happened that reinforced this belief even further.
That same best friend and I found out that we were dating the same boy.
He was cheating on both of us.
And when I found out, I wish I could say I was angry, that I immediately walked away with my self-respect intact. But the truth? I questioned myself.
Instead of blaming him, I thought:
“Why wasn’t I enough for him to choose me?”
“What does she have that I don’t?”
“Maybe if I was prettier, cooler, more fun—he would have loved me more.”
And that’s when it hit me.
The patterns I was experiencing weren’t just coincidences. They were reflections of the way I viewed myself.
And at the root of it all, there was a belief:
“Who I am isn’t enough to be fully chosen.”
The Wounded Feminine & Masculine: Why This Happens
I didn’t know it at the time, but what I was operating from was wounded feminine energy.
Let me explain.
We all have both feminine and masculine energy within us—this is the concept of yin and yang.
The feminine is the energy of flow, intuition, nurturing, softness, and receiving. It’s the part of us that feels deeply, connects, and embraces emotions.
The masculine is the energy of structure, action, logic, and protection. It’s the part of us that sets boundaries, takes decisive steps, and provides stability.
When these energies are balanced, life feels expansive—not draining. Love flows more freely, boundaries feel natural, and we show up in our relationships from a place of confidence rather than fear.
But when these energies become wounded, they lead to patterns that keep us stuck.
Wounded Feminine Energy Looks Like:
- Over-giving in relationships, hoping it will make people stay
- Having no boundaries, fearing that saying no will push people away
- Seeking validation outside of yourself—feeling like your worth depends on someone choosing you
- Suppressing your needs to accommodate others
On the other hand…
Wounded Masculine Energy Looks Like:
- Being emotionally shut down or avoiding vulnerability
- Overworking, trying to prove yourself through achievement
- Feeling the need to control everything because deep down, you don’t feel safe
- Rejecting help or support because you see it as weakness
When we operate from wounded feminine energy, we attract relationships that reflect that wounding.
And that’s exactly what I had been doing.
Healing & The Inner Work That Changed Everything
The real turning point for me was when I stopped looking outward for validation and started looking inward for healing.
I started asking myself:
- Where am I over-giving, and why do I feel the need to?
- What part of me is still trying to prove my worth?
- What would change if I truly believed I was enough, without having to earn it?
And when I started healing these wounds, everything shifted.
I started setting boundaries—not out of anger, but out of self-respect.
I stopped chasing people, validation, or love.
I realized that the right people would never require me to overextend myself to be loved.
And this is the work we do inside Manifesting Love: Self-Love Edition.
Because healing the wounded feminine isn’t just about thinking differently—it requires deep subconscious healing, nervous system work, and unlearning years of conditioning.
Inside this 5-week program, we go beyond mindset shifts. We work on:
✨ Healing the subconscious beliefs that make us over-give and people-please
✨ Balancing masculine & feminine energy, so love feels expansive—not draining
✨ Somatic practices that help us feel safe in our worth, without external validation
✨ Breaking cycles of self-doubt, over-giving, and proving our worth
This is the work that changed everything for me.
If this episode resonates with you, I invite you to join me inside Manifesting Love: Self-Love Edition—our 5-week journey of transformation starting March 2nd.
You don’t have to keep repeating the same painful cycles to learn the same lesson.
📍Click here to learn more.
And remember—your worth isn’t something you have to prove. It’s something you embody.
Sending you all my love, and I’ll see you in the next episode. 💖
Minutes on Growth 