It’s Tannaz hosseinpour and welcome back to another short solo episode of Minutes on Growth.
Today I want to briefly talk about community, and the importance of surrounding yourself with a tribe that not only supports you, but also inspires you to become the better version of yourself.
Jim Rohn quotes that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most of our time with. So let me ask you this.. Who are the 5 people you spend the most of your time with?
Name the five people you talk with the most, you chat with the most, you spend the most time with.. Be honest with yourself,
do they inspire you?
do they motivate you to be better? think better? do better?
do they compassionately show you the parts of yourself that you need to let go of?
do they bring out the best in you?
do they celebrate you when you’re winning?
do they offer a shoulder when you’re grieving or in pain?
do they help you see the light when you’re stuck in darkness?
do they remind you of all that is good in this world?
do they without judgment give you their hand when you fall down?
do they intentionally try to bring you down by using harmful sarcasm or by belittling you?
do they make you feel bad whenever you’ve accomplished something great by minimizing it and saying its not a big deal?
do they throw their limiting beliefs onto you and tell you you can’t or won’t ever succeed, especially when you share an idea with them?
do they only see your darkness and refuse to see the good in you?
do they intentionally bring up your past mistakes and shortcomings to excuse their behaviour towards you?
do they spend hours and hours gossiping and spreading negative vibes about others?
Now, let’s mirror it all back — what type of friend are you to your community? Because soul-friend, we need to become embodiments of that which we seek.
So take a moment and reflect on your role in the tango.. without self-judgment or criticism. It is in these moments of reflection that our movie is corrected.
Truthfully life is too short to let pass by engaging in conversations and experiences that don’t set your soul on fire, that don’t add value to your life, that don’t make you feel safe, seen, heard and valued.
Now I don’t mean that all your conversations with everyone need to be educational or that they all must have a purpose… but it’s rather about the feeling we get when we’re in someone’s presence.. some feel like home.
The world can sometimes be a dark place – & thats why our community should feel safe. a place where we can be held. a place where we can be seen. a place where we can evolve. a place where we can learn. and lets be honest, no one learns through criticism.
I’m not going to lie.. There have been many moments in my life that I have stayed in friendships and relationships for much longer than I should have, because I had been friends with them already for a long time, or because I felt guilty that the other person didn’t have anyone else or simply because I insisted on them not having bad intentions.. but the truth is, someone can be a good person but not necessarily good for you… so if it no longer serves you, cut the chord. You’re not being selfish. When you cut the chord, you create space for new friendships to flourish for both yourself and the other person, because trust me, if you’re not vining with someone, there’s a high chance they’re not vibing with you too. so why not allow them to nurture a friendship that serves them too?
If you can’t cut the chord, then set boundaries for yourself around what you will share with the person, what you’ll allow them to share with you and the amount of time you’re willing to spend with them. You can’t serve your purpose, your dharma, your calling with an empty cup.. be conscious of who you give access to your cup to.
Also I’d like to quickly add that impact is just as important as intention.. We place a lot of focus on intent, but not as much on impact. Yes you might not have had bad intentions when you criticized your friend for the way they dress, talk or act, but the fact remains that it impacted them and it was hurtful. I always like to visualize humanity as a big carpet and every single one of us being a thread in it – recognizing how interconnected we all are, and that our actions always impact the other person – whether it’s positive or not.
So this week, pay attention to who, what and where you’re spending most of your energy on. You have full control over this area of your life. Take ownership of it. Jump into the driver’s seat.. and choose the destination that serves your highest good
Thank you for listening