Hey everyone! My name is Tannaz Hpour and welcome to this week’s episode of Minutes on Growth. A few weeks ago we discussed the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself – and how vital it is to have self love and respect. I apologize for not posting these past 2 weeks, however as a result of the unfortunate earthquake in Iran, all my attention was directed towards fundraising and raising awareness of the cause, which brings us to this week’s topic of being selfish vs. self care. I knew that my productive hours would be more useful helping out with the cause and that If I had forced my body and mind to over-work, I would be hurting my own health. I wanted my creativity to flow at the right time and on its own pace.
Self care is all about placing yourself first, your mental and physical health as long as it does not hurt someone else. For many years, I was attracting partners with a selfish trait – I did not understand why it kept happening to me; I mean I was always helping out people, and trying my best to be a supportive friend — until one day a wise teacher pointed out that I was extremely selfish – At the age of 17, I had chosen to study in a different country when I knew that my younger brother at home needed me to stay close to him. I had consistently made choices that not only benefited me, but which hurt those closest to me. I was selfish. I then started to teach myself the importance of keeping into consideration how my choices impacted other people – I wanted to respond to life from a place of empathy. So I jumped to the other end of the spectrum. I said yes to everyone and everything – A few years later, and now this time i had turned into a people pleaser. I became addicted to pleasing others – and somewhere along the way, I had forgotten about myself. But how can I please others, if I can’t please myself? Were my actions out of love or habit?
& that is where balance and awareness comes in. Quoting Meggan Roxanne, self care is acknowledging that you don’t have to be apart of anything that hinders your growth. I’ve created a mental do and don’t list for my mental and physical health which I try my best to follow. Do not force a conversation, a friendship, or a relationship. Do not place yourself in negative situations. Do not engage in gossip. Do not be inauthentic. Do not drink excessively. Do not consume animal products. Do not make mean or judgmental comments to people. Do not label people or situations. Do not rush through life, Take your time. Pamper yourself. Hug and kiss yourself. Be in touch with your true feelings. Express your true feelings in a respectful manner to those around you, whether it is you feeling hurt or happy by something they’ve done or said. Choose friendships that inspire you. Choose a job that sparks your creativity and enlightens your day. Go to places that make you happy. Go on spiritual detoxes. Rid yourself of toxic thoughts. Raise awareness about causes dear to you. Speak to your inner child. Share your passions, gifts and talents with your community. Be of service to those in need. Offer your hand to those in need.
As Oprah says, the biblical verse Learning to love your neighbor as yourself, means you first have got to love yourself. People who truly love themselves, do not spread hate, do not spread violence, or try to inflict harm on others.
So take care of your self – Be protective of your space – Be aware of your thoughts – Filter our the negative ones – Allow yourself to prosper – Allow yourself to be the best version of yourself even if that means saying no at times. Do not hurt yourself. Do not intentionally hurt others. Let your positivity and display of self love and care inspire others.
When you love and take care of yourself, can you love your family, friends, community and the world you live in. Thank you for listening,
Love & Light, Tannaz Hosseinpour