My name is Tannaz Hosseinpour and welcome to this week’s episode of Minutes on Growth. Last week we discussed the importance of maintaining a healthy mind-body relationship and how inter-connected the two are. What I failed to realize is that in order to have a healthy mind-body relationship, there is a very vital component that must be present – the relationship/friendship you have with your self, because your mental health is dependent on your level of self-care. Over this past week as I’ve been discussing the content of my previous episode with my friends and those around me, i noticed that this relationship with the self is not present among many of us.
What do I mean by the relationship with the self?
It is the ability and the consciousness to give yourself love, to give yourself attention, to place yourself first at times. Through conversations that I had with myself, I realized that at times we are great friends to others, but we cannot gift ourselves with the same type of friendship. I am sure there have been times when a friend of yours has asked you to join them for an event, or to meet them at a place, but deep down you truly did not want to go – It was not a matter of stepping outside of your comfort zone, but it was just a matter of you not enjoying that particular activity or you were just not vibrating at a high frequency that day and wanted to relax instead – but for the sake of that friend, you say yes. Now there are two scenarios. The first is that when the time comes for you to go, its very difficult for you to get ready, driving there or getting there isn’t fun for you, spending time there isn’t fun for you. So what have you done? You have placed yourself in a situation where interactions are forced – all because you did not want to disappoint your friend by saying no – The second scenario is that you push yourself to go, but realize that it’s impossible so you end up canceling last minute. So now you have become a person that cancels last minute, you become a person that cant stick to a commitment, your friend may become disappointed in you, and you feel bad because you had to cancel.
So what if we could avoid all of this from the beginning? & that is why it is so important for us to be true to ourselves and to realize hat sometimes we have to put ourselves first – because if you’re not vibrating at your highest self, you cannot be a good parent, a good friend, partner or sibling. Sometimes my phone rings and If I’m not feeling well, I don’t feel the need to immediately answer it and its okay, sometimes its okay to say no, sometimes its okay to be alone, to re-evaluate a friendship, to leave a relationship that no longer fulfills you, to take a day off, to pamper yourself, to do nothing or to do something that you truly enjoy on your own. Because the most important relationship you are ever going to have is your relationship with your self so be kind and honest with yourself. To quote Anita Moorjani, to perform a service out of obligation is dishonest both to the receiver and to the giver. If you and yourself are the best of friends, the other relationships such as your mind-body will come easier, because your health is your priority, your mental health is your priority, your physical health is your priority. I always tell my partner, if at any point in your life, we realize that being together isn’t fulfilling us, we must leave, regardless of how hard it may be , because you are the only person you are going to be with 24/7 for the rest of your life until your last breathe. Because only when you put yourself first, and you are besties with yourself, are you then able to be the best partner to me, because then I’ll know that everything you tell me and everything you do is authentic, because they’ll be the things you want to do and say and not because you have to do – and when you do things from the heart, you never expect anything in return – because it was a choice, not a demand = and that is the most important element of any relationship or friendship, that realness. Anything you do or say becomes natural – not forced – and burden free.
So do not deny yourself your feelings, but instead allow yourself the freedom and courage to put your mental and physical health first – and you can do that by learning how to say and hear both yes and no – You may be thinking to yourself that this episode is promoting selfishness – but there is a clear distinction between selfishness and self – love, a topic I will delve in further next week.
Until then, thank you for listening and have a great week
Love & Light, Tannaz Hosseinpour